Are Your Goals Yours? Or What Other People Told You To Accomplish? w/ Jon Astacio

my logic was they would know more than me. I found myself in a place where my goals were not mine and I was falsely chasing after other people's goals, like the big car, the big house and I do want those things and I was adopting other people's dreams and wishes because I came to realize I didn't give enough time for me to do some self-reflection and I just steamrolled my way through different opportunities and different mentors because I thought the answer was outside of me.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Walk 12 podcast. If you're tuning in on YouTube or any of the podcast directories, make sure to do us one teeny, tiny little favor and make sure to give us a follow, because I don't want you to miss out on any of the amazing guests I got coming on this year. Without further ado, let's get right into this one. John, for anyone who hasn't had the pleasure or opportunity to get to know you, to get to meet you and know who you are, man, tell us your quick little elevator pitch. Man, who are you and what do you do?

I'm just a dude man. Just a dude on the street Just walking by.

Nice and simple.

I mean a little bit about me. I'm a podcast host and immersive meditation guide coach. So my challenges have been gaining clarity on purpose, on drive, and finding that confidence to get over some roadblocks. And just things come up, especially in the world of abundance of opportunities, decisions. This guru, that guru, who do I follow? Where do I put my money? So I help people find clarity, so they can have some just that clear vision and what do you call it, that courage to move forward?

All right, that's amazing, brother, and so I always like to start off with this question man, take us back into time machine. What was little John like growing up?

Oh, geez, how far back do you want to go? I was confused man. So I was born in the Bronx inner city, new York, and around like four we moved to the suburbs of Greenwich, connecticut, so you got like the school that has no playground and it's just all concrete. And then you have Greenwich, where it's like manicured lawns, updated playgrounds and just life. It was like my memory of New York was just dark and this brick and stone building, and then Greenwich was just this bright colored place with like green walls and people that love their job, and so it was a culture shock for me, because I had this attitude as a kid that was ready to fight, because in New York I was ready. I saw people fighting every day in the cafeteria and it was grades like six through 12 or like it was like junior, high and high school all mixed in one. It was nuts. Actually I was like five first. It was like first. It was like first through, like six, anyway, like through nine, whatever it was. Just there's a lot of people, one building, just put it that way. And then, and Greenwich, everything's nice and split up and whatnot in Connecticut. So you know, just going from there it was more of like what's going on, why is this? I saw a family that's in New York that is very just has that New York mentality and they were able to get out into the suburbs and I just saw the difference in mind set where the inner city was the why me and a lot of frustration. And then the suburbs was like why not, and what are we going to do next and let's have some fun. And so I had this attitude and people like chill, bro, chill. And I had to just adapt, adapt and that really started my journey on figuring out, like why people are different and just the power of your perspective. That just pretty much followed me through. You know, moving forward in life and having a single mom and being her like best friend and thinking adult thought, adult thoughts as a young kid and having those thoughts and just being bombarded with trying to be a kid at the same time having these adult conversations with my mom. So it was definitely confusing and set a time of self reflection.

So take us through that a little bit deeper man. So you came from the Bronx where everything is like hood, ready to brawl, everyone is, like you know, has it out for you almost. And then you move to the burbs and now you're also now you're also living with your single mom as well, and so you're pretty much almost forced to become a man a lot sooner. You become the man of the household, because that role was absent at a very young age. So you had to fill in those shoes. But then you also had to be a kid and enjoy your life. So what was it like your high school years, man? What was it? You said a lot of reflection. I feel like myself. I always felt like I had an old soul. So it's like for me although I knew a lot of people at school a lot of people there wasn't too many people that could really sit down and have a deep, deep talk with. Like people that have deep conversations with, I always been a sucker for deep talking. It's ironic that or not ironic, but it's like it's not surprising that I ended up doing podcasting, even though I didn't even know what a podcast was back then and I was in high school. But, man, it's conversations that I was always striving for but never able to have, because not that I was the smartest person in school. It's just like my outlook and perspective on life was so different than the vast majority of all the people in my age, so it's like it was hard to, as I said, really find people to have deep talks with. So what was that like for you navigating high school in that age range, I guess?

It was well one. People were segregated by just their interests in high school. So you have your emu crowd and then you had your athletes, and then you have your Hispanics and a lot of soccer, and then you got your hip hop crew and then you have like everybody in between, and that was actually a little bit of everything. Yeah, I honestly hung out more in the hood area, ironically, just because on a deeper level I felt connected, because I just know what it's like to come from that background. And then what really helped me just find those connections was I got into dance. That was like I imagine you have your mom that's having adult conversations with you, and then you have your friends that are having like just these young conversations. And I became very like just a mental dude. My mom called me the mental midget, where she was like look, there's kids playing football and I'm like that's not to offend anybody playing football. I actually ended up playing football but I was like why? So I can just run into people and get like a, like a concussion, like that's just idiot, like why would I do that? Like it just didn't make logical sense. And so I was just very mental. So an outlet for me was dance. I got into break dancing and that really was able to help me connect to my roots but at the same time bring it to the present day, and it was just a cool thing that was accepted. As far as, like deep conversations, a friend of mine used to say everybody has their own planet, that they live on right, some people are Mars and you got whatever. And he said Jonathan's planet is just a little bit further than the rest. Because the stuff that I like to talk about were the stuff that I had questions around and that's why I have my podcast around these subject matter which is like the why is the metaphysical, like this, like journey into space? Are there other civilizations out there? People, can you read minds? I would like to understand how to levitate stuff. I was interested in those things and I had very few people to talk about, so that was just in the soup mix of the chaos in my head, so I would just not talk as much and when I would talk it would just be just to kind of fill the space.

If someone asked me a question, yeah, Now, before we move on, I think the part about running into people. I think that's probably like the midget side talking. That's probably why you didn't resonate with football. But guys, I know John, so I could say that.

So midget, because I was like a toddler. That's why.

I am short but, guys, John is a reasonable height. He can reach the cabinet without a stool.

Exactly Most of them.

And most right Depends on which shelf in the cabinet. Right, yeah, but so take us a little bit further. So you got into breakdance and then after high school, what was like life like? Did you take the traditional track? Did you end up working? What was that like after high school? Did you just get right into pretty much adulthood and it's like, okay, I have to get a job and start paying bills, paying my rent, helping my mom out around the house. Like where did you end up going after high school?

So my mother remarried, actually shortly after we moved, but it was always just her and I. And then, like the step dad, when I got out of high school, I started working at a grocery store and I was going to school and I was studying psychology because I really wasn't sure what to do. I knew I wanted to help people and something with the mind right. And then I got into my first experience with entrepreneurship when I was 19, going into 20 actually, and it was network marketing. A friend of mine was like hey, a couple of times, like hey, check out this project I'm doing, it's a great opportunity. And for some reason I'm just like it just goes over my head. Because I'm 19 years old, I'm thinking about other stuff. I'm thinking about 19 year old stuff, whether it be like this, just like this, whether I'm trying to remember what I was into. I mean, I was all into dance, going to the club, hanging out with friends, not thinking about, like, my future.

sadly enough, I wasn't like you Ages ago, right Like ages and ages ago right, yeah.

No, not too far away, but yeah, it was a while back, but anyways, so it wasn't. Until he comes back to me and he's like, hey, I'm going to Vegas and I got some ladies I want to introduce you to, and it happens to be a business trip. And so that piqued my interest, because at that time I just broke up with my ex. I was like, yeah, let's just, I just need to get my mind off of this. So I'm out, let's just go show me some pictures, who do you know, before I even invest. And then he's like, yeah, these are my friends, there are these decent people. It's business, all right, let's do it. Opportunities to make some money and opportunities to meet some ladies, pretty much. And the rest was history, because I went to Vegas and I met a lot of very interesting people, a lot of perspective on life, leadership. It was just a lot of stuff that someone who was very mental, right Mindful, would appreciate. So I was introduced to books by John C Waxwell, maxwell, thinking, bro, rich, by Napoleon Hill, those books, and so it set me on that trajectory to be mindful and to really push for entrepreneurship. But, as the story goes, my mind had gotten ahead of me, and I was falling into the trap of chasing other people's dreams because I didn't give myself a chance to identify my own.

Mmm. So how do you break free from that?

Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had mentors and I would ask the same questions over and over again and then I would question the questions. So I found myself in a place where my goals were not mine and I was falsely chasing after other people's goals, like the big car, the big house and I do want those things and I was adopting other people's dreams and wishes. Because I came to realize I didn't give enough time for me to do some self-reflection and I just steamrolled my way through these different opportunities and different mentors because I thought the answer was outside of me. If someone was able to achieve something that I haven't yet already, my logic was they would know more than me. How am I to know all the answers if I haven't done it? Think of Albert Einstein the same mind that created the problem can't create the solution. But my argument nowadays is yes, that is true, but there's different levels of consciousness that you move into as you grow up as a person. So the person today is a different person than yesterday. And as you grow into more self-awareness, the more aware you are of yourself, the more you evolve. Your consciousness is and is now is a different mind. Specifically that's going to help you find your solutions. So what ended up happening to me was people were telling me going back to what I was saying before. I had mentors, I had gurus, whatever. And they kept on saying Jonathan, you're thinking too much, you're overthinking of it, you're thinking about it, get out of your head, get out of your head. And that's all I heard. So I was like then I adopted that belief I'm overthinking, I'm overthinking and as you wish, as you say, was it your wish, is my command. Your subconscious is like well, if you say so, then that's your reality. Poof. And it wasn't until I found myself in the kitchen looking at what I'm going to eat and it took me 30 minutes to figure out what I was going to eat, and I had like two options too. And I got friends behind me watching TV and a whole episode of whatever they were watching finished and I was so embarrassed I just walked off and started to finish the thought process. So that was just like my, like this can't happen again. Like I'm at my lowest of the low broke. No one's willing to go out of the way to help me. I feel ashamed that constantly making the same mistakes, and so I took some advice that people were telling me for years and that's meditate. And my thought I had this fear of meditation. I was like, if I meditate, I have to shut everything down, right, I have to quiet the mind. And so I thought I was going to die because, logically, if you stop thinking, what's going to start you thinking again, right, I thought I was just going to be like on the floor just staring into space and then be wheeled into one of those psychiatric rewards, right? So I went to, you know, youtube University and I Googled it and I'm like you know different steps on meditation and I started with like five seconds of just quietness and then 10 seconds and I just doubled it from there and I got to the point where I would sit in silence for 15 minutes. There's still stuff going on in my head, but those thoughts were more intimate thoughts and I was able to see the more deep level thoughts that I've been just avoiding because I'm constantly searching outside of me. And one thing that you'll appreciate that happened right afterwards was maybe a couple of days after I started really getting to meditation of like 15 minutes or more. There was a point where there was a couple of us. You know how you're talking with your boys and you're in a circle and everybody's just exchanging thoughts and ideas. So I'm listening and person A is thinking, saying one thing, and then I think of a response, and then person B says my thoughts out loud. I'm like that was coincidence, but it kept happening. And I'm like whoa, did I just open up to something? And what that's pretty much called is the collective consciousness, and there's different levels of that. Right. There's like think of towns and whatnot, and the more, in my opinion, the more elevated you are as an individual, the more you'll be able to pull in, and it works. It's a two-way road too, and we're all we're all sharing this. Sorry if I'm getting a little deep here, but that is an experience that I had, yeah.

That's what I was going to say, because I mean from what I heard it, because we're all one in the body of Christ. It's like different wording and terminology, I guess, from different, I guess, viewpoints of life, One's more like New Age and more modern, One's more Christian, but it's all the same thing. We're all one and that's why I. There's a quote. I love man. It talks about how the wise divide themselves amongst the wise and the fools. The fools divide themselves amongst race, gender, religion, socioeconomic status, sex, you know, whatever you want. The list goes on and I feel like nowadays in the West, the list just keeps on growing and growing and growing. Man, at this point, man, it's insane. It's like they just find more and more ways to divide us and amongst ourselves. And for me, so I always been the person and I jokingly say that's a superpower, because like I can't turn it on, but like I'm aware that I'm doing it. It's kind of weird to explain to like anytime to say my girl or was like thinking of me, I'll call her. And then she was like get out of my head, it's like. It's like she was like get out of my head, john, like what are you doing? It was like how do you know? It's like I know, don't ask questions. You can't understand, in human understanding, the ways of the world, like there's only so much explaining that we could do. I feel like a lot of the stuff that we have, for example, like times, a man made contract, I feel, and I feel like a lot of these constructs are, we have a limited understanding because of the plane we're on and so we're trying to discuss things of other planes with the understanding and knowledge that we have from this one, it'll never, ever work. This is why I came to the realization this year you'll only ever find the truth of life on the other side of life. That is the only way. I don't think one, and if someone does come across, aside from me I believe Jesus Christ, but aside from him I don't think anyone will ever, ever understand the truth of life until they make it to the other side. It's like, unless you're willing to sacrifice your life to find the answer, then it's like well, one, you should probably talk to somebody first, cuz it's never that deep man, never that deep. We don't have to know me in too much reverse to find the truth. But you know, one of those things was like, and that stuff like that happens to me all the time. It's like I just know and it's like I get any states, almost like these enlightened states. It's just like man, my creativity, just like I'm in another dimension. It feels sometimes like and the inspiration I just get tapped in and it started coming like for me. We had a speaker, school mastermind about two weeks ago, from the time we were recording this and like, the night before I Hopped out the shower, man, I didn't even start drying up, bro, I just had my towel around me and I sat down and I was like bro, I got an idea for a keynote and since I 10 30 at night, I'm supposed to be getting ready because I had to drive into the City in the morning and I just got. I got this idea for a keynote man. I was up for like two hours almost. I ended up not sleeping at a time night. Almost. It was really like in, not asleep. But, like you know, the, the creativity is just like Bro, it would just come in to me and it's like it helps so much from my entrepreneurial stuff just being a visionary, just like If you give me a little something, something like I'll take that and spin it into a bunch of different ways, and like my thoughts were turning to own thoughts and like almost like this massive, like little ripple effect of just thoughts just start Building my brains. It's like it's been helping me out at times. It's like, how's that stuff for you? I helped out with your business and podcast and everything going on.

You were hopped out of the shower, right, and I joke around with people, like you know, the quote-unquote shower thoughts you get times of.

Yeah, shower and, I think, walking. I think at least those are my two shower and walking alone.

I'm always by myself and a lot of people that I've seen don't want to be by themselves. Right, they want to face their Whatever they're facing really. And it's in facing those things if you haven't already, you're gonna need to because that's what's stopping you from getting to that creative flow that you're talking about. And I had to face a lot of things for myself and I did that through meditation and just things come up that I'm like you know what I should address, that I should call that person, I should handle this thing, and if I have a, let's say, a tension between somebody, I'll just address it, but really realizing that it's not me, it's. If it continues, it's, it's them, it's not me, and I'll do the best that I can. But really just kind of facing yourself and spending more time with yourself, that's has, that has happened. That has helped me the most. So some things on top of that, like a good slew of things. It would be hiking right, getting around nature, the body, where we're surrounded by technology and electronics all day, every day, and all those electronics. Electronics emits positive ions and the planet is a negative ion generator. And Well, I say ions and positives because you need to purge yourself of those positive ions. It's just it's is causing chaos in your body, physically and mentally, and and that's why you you get fuzzy a lot of the times. So when you go out in nature, it's the breath of the fresh air, it's just this natural aspect of it that your body knows that this is right and it gives it a chance to reset to zero so that you can be yourself again. So, like waterfalls, lots of negative ions, walking barefoot, lots of negative ions. When I'm stressed and my wife's stress, we go to the beach because in nearby we walk barefoot and we listen to the. The waves crash. You know it's getting sleep too. As an entrepreneur, sometimes you feel the need to sacrifice a lot of sleep, like what you did, and once in a while is fine. But it's that click, the clarity of mind, that you need to maintain, in my opinion, because that's where you get all your ideas. And if you're, if you think about it, you're like, oh, but I'm Grinding, I'm getting through it and you're trying to get ahead, but ironically is taking you longer To get ahead because you're not working with a clear mind. You can solve so many problems on a clear mind. So those are some of the things that I do like just grounding myself, meditation, getting some sleep and being in nature, all right, just being in contact with yourself.

So let's be clear, I wanted to sleep. It wasn't my doing, but my brain wouldn't let me man. The thoughts were coming in, bro. I was just like damn whatever, man, let me see what I can do. Man, let's see what I can bang out. But 100%, on a good night's rest I could do a whole lot. The way my brain works is like a lot of people feel to realize how powerful the brain truly is and we really sell ourselves short, not just in business, but in all areas of life. We could really take on a lot. I asked her. She says this one quote and it was like I love working hard because it reminds me how far I can actually can go, and just like or something like that, like how much my body's actually able to endure without breaking or falling apart, and just like. And every time it works hard, it's like he realizes there's another level he could have tapped into, another gear he could have shifted into or to work even harder, and so a lot of stuff. You mentioned sacrifice. Then I doubt that his mind said I had this cool guy interview me. He actually probably would be a dope podcast interview for you. His name is Vic Manzo. I think it's like episode 34, but he's big into quantum, like really big into quantum laws and when I'm telling you he understands it. Like everyone talks about, like the law of attraction, blah, blah, blah, blah. But he's like, nah, there's like it works in threes. So like the law of vibration goes into the law of attraction, which then leads into the law of manifestation, and like he just had a very good way of like breaking it all down and making sense of it all. But it sounded too like we were out of this world, like other world or whatever. So he was definitely a dope person to talk to. One of the things he mentioned was the law of non-sacrifice and how, when you choose what you love to do in life, you're never, ever in sacrifice. Sacrifice is a scarcity minded term. You're giving something up. When you're an abundance of abundance, there's nothing that needs to be given up, there's enough of everything Right. And so it's like when you adopt that mindset, it's not saying that, oh, you don't have to choose one thing over the other, you do have to choose some things over other things. Whereas one mindset views it half empty, the other views it half full. The side that says, oh, I got to sacrifice eating candy so I can get abs. The other side says I get to have abs Eating candy, who cares? I love that. I'm treating what I love to do. And the same thing with marriage you don't get to the altar. Hopefully you don't get to the altar. Hopefully you don't get to the altar and say, damn, there's a lot of bad joints I could have ended up with and I'm choosing this one to spend the rest of my life with. Hopefully that's not running in your mind, but most of the time at least. If you marry the one you're thinking like oh, my goodness, I'm so grateful I get to spend the rest of my life with the person I love the most, and that's like the law of non-sacrifice in action, essentially. And adopting that mindset of being grateful and choosing what you love to do, and not talking about what you're losing out on, because you're not really losing out on if you're choosing what you love to do.

The day around sacrifice and the mindset of abundance and that concept, like you said, sacrifice with the language you're spelling it differently, you're pronouncing it differently. It's just a different flow. When you say it, I'm sacrificing, that means you're taking something away from yourself. But I like to spin it on its head and say, instead of sacrifice, say investment. I'm investing into this project, investing time. I'm sacrificing time. I'm investing time into my business. I'm investing time into my health, because that's just coming from a place where you have an abundance of time and you're choosing where to put it so that it will grow, versus chopping off a part of myself and hopefully that turns into something and I'm just going to walk away with one arm now.

So let me ask you, man, so you're someone who is very mindful what do you do on a day? Is that it kind of goes all out of the window and you're just kind of like at ground zero and like what do you do? To remind yourself of who you are.

There's a couple of things you can do. Some of the things that I've done is really breath work, slow breaths. There's something called box breathing, where it's four, you count four seconds in, four seconds out, and if you keep that motion, just like, keep it even you're going to naturally slow down. Also, you know, I do some momentary meditations for myself and for others, to help just collect. When I'm having a conversation with somebody, whether I'm coaching or just in general, I'll have I noticed that the conversation is going this way and they're just like just lost. A lot of times this happens to us, right, if you do a momentary meditation just brings the body into itself again instead of being scattered, and it's a. It's a transformational experience for the physical body so that you're not in that fight or flight mode. So what you're talking about is what happens when you know shit hits the fan and you're just like I'm SOL, like this is it, I should give up. It's like no, no, because you're falling into that fighter flight mode. And if you're aware of that and then start to pull from the different things that you know, they get you into more confidence and relax. They're like you know, I don't make any decisions when I'm emotionally compromised, right. So again, go, go for a walk by yourself If you have a dog or a cat. You don't, people don't walk cats, but you know, like you have a dog, go out and walk your dog. Right, look at your dog, spend time with dogs are actually really good because they just they love you so much unconditionally and if you reciprocate that and you just do that little small loop with them, it helps people a lot. That's why people, especially if they live by themselves, they have a pet, right. So walks, pets, meditation, guided meditation if you're not used to meditating by yourself, but don't be very wary of what you call them. Distractions right. A video game to distract yourself, a movie to distract yourself, complaining to someone as a distraction. There's venting and then there's complaining, right. So you know, be very familiar with the difference of the two and really just find that list of things that works for you to reconnect with yourself. So, like, like I do what I told you before we go to the beach lately, as at the time of recording, there's been a lot of new projects happening that I'm excited about, but I got to collect myself and so I don't get lost into all the shiny squirrels or the oh shoot, there's a squirrel, I'll be right back. Shiny objects and squirrels.

Shiny objects and squirrels yeah.

I kind of mixed the two together. But yeah, just leave the squirrels where they are, They'll find their nuts, you know the shiny objects they'll be, they'll still be there. And just go to the, just go to the water. Right, Go to your quiet place, Find your quiet place.

Yeah, there's a saying that's like if it's opportunities not available for you in like 24 hours, it's like don't, don't, it wasn't for you, right? But it's like yes and no, because you have to take, you know, jump on opportunities when they're presented, because some opportunities only ever come around once. But then also, I think the context that they were saying in is like don't feel rushed into doing something if you don't know. If it's 100%, you're certain. Like, if it's not an immediate yes, it's not the opportunity for you, right, don't? You know, don't sweat yourself. This is what they call, like, the law of not, like non-action, if I'm not mistaken, or just talks about like not doing anything that's not of natural occurrence, like, and it's preserving your energy. And when you know something feels right, then jump the gun, then go, you know, pull the, you know pull the trigger on it and just jump all into it. Like, for example, for me, podcasting, like I procrastinated for about four months until I found the name. But once I found the name, that same week I went on Fiverr, got myself a logo cover art, dropped my trailer like a week after it's like the month after that launch of the show. Like. Same thing for like, stop us there immediately. Like I started getting ads on click funnels and from there ended up not working out. But I was like, all right, how do I spend an opportunity for AI came about, boom, took that seen a course on how to use chat GPT and the course was created with chat GPT two weeks after hosting my first class on chat GPT. Using chat GPT to create the class, like stuff like that. Like when it's right, I get to moving Right, but it's knowing when. And getting that muscle of knowing when to and when not to jump is something that I've been struggling myself because, similar to you, like I also get very bad shiny object syndrome man, cause I'm a visionary, I see all these ideas and when you're young and hungry, if you stick with something long enough, it'll always be a good idea. So every idea almost that comes to me is a good idea, cause I know, being young, if I just stick with it long enough, it'll work out. But it's like I can't do everything at the same time, which is like also the beauty of life, cause you have to be intentional with how you choose.

You reminded me of the need to, and I am trying to like, like the thoughts, like it's full loading away, it's like a cloud. I'm like my hands are going through this cloud. Just come back, um, and maybe just let it be. That reminds me of a book there we go, um, I think. I think it was called let it be. And then another book power versus force. Really good books. If you're trying to flow and and get into that flow, keep that flow. What is that flow? Um, power versus force, by David Hawkins. That dude is amazing. Have you read that book? Are you? Are you familiar with it? He is kind of woo-hoo, but he gives a logical background to levels of consciousness and what's the difference between approaching life by force or approaching life by power? Think of, uh, um, love, being power and attracting the right stuff to you because you're in the right flow, because you attract the flow, you attract the knowledge, you attract the ideas because of the states that you're in and controlling that state and manicuring that state, versus going into force, where it's just knowledge and awareness of ideas and concepts that can get you somewhere and if you position it right, you can force it to happen for you. And so there's two different ways to go about it, but the way I'm working on is helping people with getting more into that love associated, that heart associated flow, where it's effortless, where ideally you don't want people to be upset with you, but you're like that person that's quote unquote lucky and things just happen for them and people, logically, can't make sense of that. And a good acronym for luck is labor unto correct knowledge. You're just in the right place at the end.